Amazon employees are internally sharing mock leadership principles that make fun of the company’s aggressive RTO policy: ‘Disagree and comply’
- Amazon employees are mocking the company’s return-to-office policy in a very Amazon way.
- The mock list reflects the rising employee frustration over the RTO policy.
- Amazon is dealing with an unusually contentious response to its RTO policy.
When making important company decisions, Amazon is well-known for adhering to its 16 leadership principles.
However, the company’s aggressive return-to-work policy, which has become a source of contention internally, has led some employees to enjoy mocking the famous principles.
An Amazon employee posted a satirical version, titled “Leadership Principles for RTO,” on an internal staff forum earlier this week. According to people familiar with the matter, the post, which was reviewed by Insider, tweaked the 16 business dictums to show employee frustration and became an instant hit internally, making the rounds across the company.
One of the mock principles was “Deliver Butts to Seats,” a parody of “Deliver Results.”
“Leaders focus on the key inputs for their business, which are, of course, corporate real estate profits, and deliver them by forcing their employees to go to a hub office three days a week,” the report stated. “Despite the setbacks, they send nasty emails and put people on Pivot to ensure compliance.” Pivot is one of Amazon’s well-known performance-improvement strategies.
Amazon is facing an unusually hostile response to its return-to-office policy, owing in large part to the fact that it began forcing people back after saying it had no plans to do so last year. Amazon CEO Andy Jassy stated at the time that the company would “proceed adaptively” with remote work.
Amazon announced in February that most employees would be required to work in the office at least three times per week. While some employees were in favor of returning, it has since become a contentious issue at Amazon. As previously reported by Insider, Amazon began requiring employees to relocate near central “hub” offices or take a “voluntary resignation” last month, further infuriating some employees. To comply, some employees are considering drastic hacks.
A request for comment from Amazon was not returned.
Here’s the full list of the 16 mock leadership principles:
RTO Leadership Principles
The RTO and forced relocation mandates demonstrate that the S- team is clearly not adhering to the same set of LPs as the rest of us, so I decided to assist them by compiling a new list of LPs that is more in line with how they currently operate. Please feel free to use these LPs in any future new hire orientation materials so that people understand what they’re getting themselves into!
Investor Obsession
Leaders begin with the shareholder and work their way backwards. They work hard to keep shareholder value high. Leaders pay attention to customers, but they are obsessed with shareholders.
Parasitism
Leaders seize opportunities. They are focused on the short term and will not sacrifice short-term results for long-term value. They act on their own behalf, not on behalf of the entire company. If this causes issues, they simply say, “Too bad, I got mine.”
Duplicate and complicate
Leaders expect innovation and invention from their teams, which appears to occur only during spontaneous hallway conversations. Leaders, by definition, complicate everything. They are aware of their surroundings, seek new ideas by mimicking what other tech companies are doing, and are constrained by “how things have always been done.” Leaders never try new things because they are unfamiliar with them, which makes them uncomfortable.
A Lot of Things Are Wrong
Leaders make a lot of mistakes. They have poor judgment and even worse instincts. They actively avoid different points of view and work hard to put their fingers in their ears and say, “la la la, I can’t hear you!”
Be Stubborn and Stagnant
Leaders have finished learning and have no need to improve. They are staunch supporters of traditional methods of doing things and take steps to enforce them.
The best are fired and demoted.
Leaders cut costs for every employee who quits due to frustration. They recognize that exceptional talent will willingly leave the organization to work for someone else. If other leaders are unwilling to relocate to a hub office, leaders demote them to individual contributor. We are working to encourage you to find a role on another team — you have 90 days, beginning now, to do so, or you must voluntarily resign. Best wishes!
Maintain the Bare Minimum
Leaders have unyieldingly high standards for how many days you must badge into the office each week; many people may consider these standards to be unreasonable. Leaders constantly put pressure on their teams to relocate across the country to a hub office. Because of distractions at your agile desk, leaders ensure that defects are more likely to be sent down the line. Feel the rush of energy!
Consider the Smallest
Small-mindedness is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Leaders develop and communicate a bold vision without considering how to put it into action. They think the same way they always have and look straight ahead with blinders on so they don’t see any other possibilities.
Recklessness Bias
In real estate investing, time is of the essence. Many decisions and actions are irreversible, but they are not thoroughly researched. Just do whatever you want. I’m confident everything will be fine. We value bold, reckless risk-taking.
Extravagance
Achieve more with less. Paying for unnecessary office space, IT supplies, electricity, water, and employee relocation expenses encourages riffing, which is probably a good thing. There are bonus points for increasing headcount in a hub office. Otherwise? Force attrition from remote and virtual employees to save money. It’s a win-win situation!
Trust must be destroyed.
Leaders who refuse to listen, mislead their employees, and show no regard for others.
They make promises to employees, then break them, as long as it doesn’t get leaked to the media, which would be too awkward and embarrassing. Leaders believe their team’s and their own body odor smells like perfume. They evaluate themselves and their teams using criteria that they do not share with anyone else.
Deeply Believe
Leaders operate on a hypothetical level, are disconnected from the details, never audit, and are skeptical when overwhelming data contradicts their own preconceived notions. They are skeptical of the data, but not of their beliefs. Their convictions are always correct. Sorry, I hope that was clear.
Disagree and obey
Leaders are obligated to dismiss challenges to their decisions made by people who disagree with them, because engaging with them sounds unpleasant and exhausting.
Leaders are tenacious and have conviction. They make no concessions for any reason, not even logic or basic human decency. They demand that everyone else commit completely once a decision is made behind closed doors with no data to back it up. They sincerely hope their employees lack courage.
Bring Butts to Seats
Leaders concentrate on the key inputs for their business, which are, of course, corporate real estate profits, and deliver them by forcing their employees to work three days a week at a hub office. Despite setbacks, they send threatening emails and place employees on Pivot to ensure compliance.
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