I raised my kids across 5 countries before they turned 10. Now, we’re going through reverse culture shock in Minnesota.
Kate Stockinger with her family at a Holi celebration in India.
Two truths and a lie. My daughter Freya was 10, it was the first day at her new school in Minnesota, and it was her turn to share: “I’ve lived in 5 countries and 4 continents; I like cheese; I lived in India when I was 2 years old,” she said.
The classmates debated between whether the lie was the number of countries or that she’d lived in India until she shouted out that it was the cheese — she’d never been a fan.
In Minnesota, new kids rarely show up, and when they do, they’re usually coming from nearby. My family moved to Minnesota in July, and it’s taking time for my two daughters and me to settle down.
I grew up in the UK. I met my now-husband Andy during a college internship at a private golf club in New York. He had recently moved to the Big Apple from Minnesota.
We fell in love, got married, and he soon started getting job placements working at different golf courses around the world. Over the next 10 years, we had two daughters, moved five times, and lived in five cities across four continents. After our time in Egypt, and with our eldest daughter not getting what she needed from her international school, we decided to hang up our expat life and move “home” to Minnesota.
We decided that this was where our kids needed to live to get the education we wanted for them. Taking this leap has been our scariest decision. My husband quit his job, and we moved to the US with nothing lined up. We were lucky to have the support of family and friends — both in the US and back in the UK.
Of course, with all of this change, there have been some high highs and some low lows.
The last picture Stockinger’s family took in Egypt before moving.
Culture shock started at Target
Stores in the US really do have everything — but sometimes there’s too much to choose from.
Target is somewhere I have to be in the right mood to go, as the variety of chips, yogurt, and out-of-season fruit they have is mind-blowing. In countries we have lived in before, it’s always been seasonal and a treat to have berries that were not frozen. Recent trips to Target with my kids can take at least an hour, as my daughters want to peruse every inch of the store,
I appreciate that I no longer have to pay crazy amounts of money for skincare or shampoo, but now my daughter has discovered a whole aisle dedicated to kids’ skincare and makeup.
Kids struggling to fit in
The statement “Minnesota Nice” holds up. Everyone here is so friendly and willing to help. It’s a stark and welcome contrast compared to some of the communities where we previously lived.
Despite this, my kids have had trouble settling in. Freya has found it hard to fit in with kids at school, as the majority of children in her class have been together since Pre-K.
Hearing her tell me that she played on her own during recess has been heartbreaking. When we lived abroad, it was easier, as there were always new kids, and the schools tended to deal with it a little better.
Winter is coming
In the past, our vacation visits to Minnesota typically took place in the summer. I have never experienced a proper Minnesotan Winter.
In Anna and Elsa’s words, my daughters and I are absolutely buzzing to be able to say, “Do you wanna build a snowman?” But my husband, his family, and our friends are waiting for our attitudes to turn when those daylight hours become less, and the damp, wet reality of that snow hits. As I am forever the optimist, I hope to see the positive even when we have to face the dull, dark days.
We are proud that our kids started their lives as global citizens and hope to continue their experience by enjoying family vacations once we have our feet firmly on the ground. This is the fastest we have settled into somewhere, proving to ourselves that we are done with expat life and ready to have neighbors in a cul-de-sac.
