I left a 6-figure career to raise my kids with special needs. I miss having a job, but my life is better now.

The author (not pictured) left her job to stay home with her kids.

When I graduated with a Ph.D. in sociology and immediately launched back-to-back careers in policy development and executive speech writing, I never dreamed I would eventually leave it all behind to be a full-time parent to three young kids.

But in 2021, when my oldest and my youngest kid got complex medical diagnoses that completely transformed our lives, it became evident that the smartest, safest, and even happiest path was for me to quit my six-figure career and become an unpaid caregiver to our boys.

I miss being in the paid workforce

When people learn about my professional background and compare it to what I do now, I get a range of responses — from puzzlement to pity to awe.

In some ways, I do miss being in the paid workforce.

For instance, I have very little balance now. My youngest child’s care is a 24/7 job, and even with cutting-edge technology to help manage his medical needs, my sleep, mental focus, and self-care time have been permanently disrupted. I do online therapy and take microbreaks to help ward off burnout. I also have a deeply devoted husband who respects my work, my talents, and my normal human need for rest and autonomy.

The author’s family depends financially on her husband’s job

Another drawback to my new path is that we have to live on one income for the foreseeable future. My partner is a high earner, but sometimes the budget gets a little tight. To make things work for our family of five, we only own one vehicle, don’t own a TV or expensive gadgets, and apply for scholarships for our kids to do extracurriculars.

I still wouldn’t trade my life

But despite the challenges, my life is actually better now, and I wouldn’t trade most of it.

In my current setup, I have almost complete autonomy over how I structure my time. For example, I can schedule medical appointments during the day, host toddler music classes in my front yard, or take a “morning off” by giving my kids crafts and store-bought lunches while I read in bed for a few hours.

I don’t answer to a manager, stakeholder, or CEO, and — as long as I meet my family’s needs — I can choose my own adventure. Writing my own job description has always been a dream of mine, so I have created a position that focuses on things I value: cooking, quietude, lasting relationships, and a love of reading and storytelling.

Even though I have less time to focus on my health, I see huge benefits to not sitting at a desk all day, cooking real meals at home, walking my kids to school and activities, and eliminating the stress of office politics and project deadlines.

I recently started wearing a weight vest and I dusted off my running stroller, but to be honest, I get plenty of exercise chasing kids around a three-story house, walking when the family car is in use, and taking care of our outside property. In between, I am in our bright and airy kitchen, cooking multiple times a day for the many special diets in our family.

For example, we have a slow carb for type 1 diabetes, a higher carb for our older kids who are in sports, and dairy-free and egg-free to cater to allergies. This includes the chance to work around my own needs and preferences. But none of this would be possible if I was working at another job five days a week.

The author has time to cook healthy meals for her family now

People often ask me how I could be fulfilled taking care of kids after doing knowledge work. My answer is that I have never done anything so meaningful as meeting my boys’ extraordinary needs, helping my kids gain new skills, developing deep relationships with humans who will be with me for the long haul, and establishing a strong organizational culture in our family.