I moved from the US to Rome for a slower pace of life, but after 7 years I’ve realized I’ll never fully adjust to some Italian ways

I’ve had to adjust to cultural differences between Italy and the US.

I moved to Italy in my 20s after a summer study abroad in Rome during my senior year of college.

What I thought would be a few months of living “la dolce vita” in the historic city turned into much more after I met my husband and my internship turned into a full-time job.

Seven years later, I split my time between my first home, the US, and my second, Italy.

Despite calling the US my real home, living overseas has changed my mindset, and I experience culture shock every time I transition between countries.

The biggest cultural differences are in everyday life

A big part of the “la dolce vita” concept is that life moves slower. Who doesn’t love the idea of unlimited coffee breaks, shorter working hours, and August spent beachside?

In reality, it’s not so pleasant at times.

I’m lucky if I can finish a task in a day. Italy isn’t as “online” as the US, so you’re better off going to a place in person rather than trying to call or email.

When I was trying to sign up for the national healthcare system, I went to the address listed on Google Maps, only to find an unmarked building with a locked door.

I waited for someone to come out so I could sneak in, and thankfully, I was able to find the registration office. But contrary to Google Maps, it was only open from 10 a.m. to noon three days a week, so I was out of luck and had to return another day.

Even after living in Italy for years, it’s difficult for me to settle into this slower pace, especially in the weeks after returning from the US.

Daily life back in the US is much more convenient and it requires less energy to get things done. I’ll take the DMV over an Italian post office any day.

It’s difficult to adjust to what’s socially acceptable in each country

Despite being a city of more than 2.5 million people, Rome feels like a cluster of small villages. Locals tend to live, work, eat, and shop in their neighborhoods, and everyone knows everyone.

The close-knit community made it hard for me, as an outsider, to fit in at first. This was even more difficult because I wasn’t used to some of the social norms in Italy, where asking personal questions and openly staring at others aren’t considered rude like in the US.

People would probe me in the beginning, asking about how my family accepted me living so far from home.

I remember calling my mom one day crying after walking through the neighborhood and feeling like all eyes were on me.

I’ve become more comfortable in Italy over the years, especially after I became fluent in Italian, which significantly boosted my self-confidence.

Italian culture has also changed my perspective on what’s socially acceptable in the US. If Italian society is overbearing, American society can feel a bit isolating.

In the US, I sometimes find myself accidentally overstaying my welcome or oversharing. I’ve also come to find it odd how easy it is to break a social bond. It only takes one wrong move to be ghosted, even by a friend.

This starkly contrasts the “village” mentality in Italy, where most relationships are long-lasting. Friends can yell at each other in the street one second and then make up and go for gelato the next.

It’s hard to get used to the different living spaces in Italy and the US

After all these years, I still haven’t adjusted to how little time Italians spend in their homes.

The traditional Italian home, which is pretty tiny, isn’t designed for people to spend a lot of time in. As a result, people spend most of their free time socializing outdoors.

In the mornings, everyone has coffee at the bar. At lunch, colleagues go out. After work, most people have an aperitivo at their favorite watering hole.

Since food and wine are relatively inexpensive, people often eat dinner out. By the time that wraps up, it’s time for bed.

By contrast, I’ve always been a homebody, which makes me the oddball out when I’m in Italy.

Seeing the way Italians live, though, has left me in awe of the typical American home, which is designed to personal taste and often has private green space.

As I drive home from the airport in Missouri, I’m always amazed at how much wide-open green space there is.

Italy can be challenging, and I know I’ll never stop being surprised by the cultural quirks, but I feel fortunate to have the best of both in my life.