I want my kids to feel connected to relatives who are no longer with us. I’m sharing holiday traditions to help bridge the gap.

A family, not the author’s, enjoys sharing memories of past holidays at the dinner table.

The holidays have always been important to me and my family. Growing up, my grandparents and foster mother made sure that November and December were filled with parties and events that both exhausted our family and filled us with joy. I still think fondly of these times and draw on them for inspiration as I’m working to create new memories with my kids, ages 19, 18, 13, and 11.

In addition to being fun, passing along old traditions and sharing memories has helped me as I’ve grieved the shrinking of the family I grew up with. Telling cherished stories helps keep memories alive.

For example, my foster mother, Esther, and her three biological children, who I came to know as my sisters and brother, had a fake cardboard fireplace we’d line with stockings every year. I now relay this story to my kids in front of our real fireplace as we decorate our tree. It helps them to get to know a bit about my humble beginnings and about the creativity of a woman they never had the chance to meet.

Here are other ways I help keep holiday traditions and the spirit of the past alive each year.

Curating a home full of history

I decorate our home with many holiday items my grandmother passed down to me. There are the marshmallow-white snowball people, a favorite of hers, that I now display on my bookshelf. My Christmas tree is covered with ornaments from the 1960s through today. When my children and I unwrap these mementos each year, I recall moments from when I was a kid and share those stories with them.

Now, I buy each of my children their own special ornament each year to remind them of our family and this time we’re spending together. One day, they will have their own collection of ornaments and stories to pass down.

Photos help keep memories top-of-mind

The holidays have always been about family. But many of the people who made my holiday celebrations so magical are gone now. To remember them, I share pictures with my kids. I have five albums filled with memories of Christmases past, and we look at them every year.

One favorite snapshot shows our family singing along with Mitch Miller, the famous composer we listened to every Christmas on the old record player. This annual gathering was organized by my aunt, who dressed in silly holiday hats and sweaters. Another image shows one of the last Christmases we’d celebrate with Gram and Gramps. There are also pictures of me visiting Santa at the mall.

I share these images to connect my children to people they knew briefly or not at all. These people are a part of who I am and are woven into the fabric of who my children will become.

Coming together over food is a favorite pastime

My Italian family treasured food, and the time we shared creating meals — especially around the holidays. I fondly recall my aunts and grandmother gathered in the kitchen and exchanging stories, while preparing our favorite dishes.

For big holidays, we now set the dining room table, which I inherited from my grandparents, with the Noritake china my grandmother also passed down to me. The delicate flowers dancing along the dishes’ edges remind me of holiday dinners with her. Even more of her cherished trinkets decorate the dining room, helping to make it feel like she is there with us as we eat our Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners.

In the kitchen on Christmas Eve, we have a tradition of baking Italian cookies like the ones my great-grandmother used to make. They never taste exactly like Grams. But what they lack in authenticity, they make up for with the memories they bring.

The author and her children decorate their Christmas tree with ornaments from past generations each year.

A party brings it all together

For years we have hosted our own Christmas party, a homage to the parties of my youth. Now, they have become a tradition I’ve created with and for my family. We invite friends and family — sometimes as many as 100 people. We cook too much food and have even welcomed special visitors like Santa through the years. I play music by Elvis, Frank Sinatra, Burl Ives, Bing Crosby, and Johnny Mathis, making sure my kids know these classic carols were my grandmother’s favorites.

Sharing these traditions allows me to give my kids a glimpse of my past. I have transitioned from one family to another, but I still remember where I came from and make sure my kids will do the same one day. I have fostered relationships that would have otherwise disappeared, making the holidays a time we look forward to each year and reminding my kids that the true meaning of these special days is family.