4 mistakes you should never make when hosting for the holidays, according to etiquette experts

There are a few mistakes that should be avoided when hosting for the holidays. 

Although hosting friends and family for the holidays can be fun, there’s no denying that doing so also comes with its fair share of stress. Without proper planning, things can even get chaotic.

To avoid making etiquette mistakes in the process, B-17 asked two experts to share the top mistakes they see people make when hosting. Here’s what they said.

Don’t chastise guests for bringing an unexpected plus-one

Diane Gottsman, a national etiquette expert and the owner of the Protocol School of Texas, told B-17 that hosts should never reprimand a guest for bringing an unexpected plus-one.

If this happens, she said to address the issue later — not in front of others.

“You don’t want to reprimand the guest or the guest’s guest in front of anyone. Later on, you can say, ‘Sally, I wasn’t expecting a plus one because it kind of put me in an awkward position with other people.’ But you can say that privately at another time, not that night,” Gottsman said.

Make sure there is enough seating for all guests

Use your head count to ensure everyone has a place to sit. 

When it comes to seating, it’s important to double check your head count and ensure everyone has a place to sit. Gottsman said this should also be done for more casual events like cocktail or dinner parties.

“You want to have enough seating for people,” Gottsman said.

Avoid creating a chaotic environment

Etiquette and hosting expert Carla Shellis said another common mistake hosts make is not considering how they want their event or home to feel.

By yelling and scrambling to get things done at the last second, the host can unintentionally leave the space feeling more chaotic than welcoming.

Gottsman shared similar thoughts, telling B-17, “When the doorbell rings with your first guest, you should not still be in your hair rollers, or lighting candles, or racing around talking about how busy you are.”

To combat a chaotic situation, Shellis likes to play music, light candles, and clean the space before her guests arrive. She also gives herself plenty of time to get everything done so she doesn’t have to rush.

Be cautious when serving alcohol

Alcohol can sometimes do more harm than good at a party. 

Shellis told B-17 that serving too much alcohol is an easy way to create unnecessary issues at a party. That’s why it’s important to ensure everyone is enjoying themselves in moderation.

For instance, Shellis said when people ask her if she has any more wine, she’ll say no and redirect them by offering other beverages like iced tea or soda.

“For 30 years, I’ve been hosting parties, and I’m going to tell you there’s nothing that will kill a beautiful environment quicker than somebody that’s hammered and acting foolish,” Shellis told B-17.