I didn’t like how I looked growing up. I regret not having photos of special moments because of it.

The author, not pictured, regrets not documenting important moments in her life because she felt she didn’t look good.

My fondest memory is that of my father gifting me a Pentax 35mm photo camera as a birthday gift way back in the 80s. It was a special moment and one of the coolest gifts I’d ever received because my parents were big on documenting everything.

They kept over 12 photo albums that reflected our journeys from childhood to adulthood. It was easy to flip through the pages and see my first birthday, prom pictures, our first vacations, and many other memories.

I always thought that I’d follow in their footsteps and document important memories for my kids, but that wasn’t the story of my life.

I didn’t like to be in photos when I was young

Growing up in the supermodel era as a Black girl who spotted a unibrow, curvy hips, and strong thighs, I didn’t enjoy time in front of a camera. I was a teenager before the smartphone era, which meant that every photo taken through film would have to be processed by a chemist.

So, every picture taken back then was a great pose or reflected a moment of self-realization. Both of these things made me uncomfortable. Whenever we had to take a family photo, I would make my way to the back or talk myself out of it because I was not confident enough or didn’t like the way I looked.

Just like that, my younger years flew by, and I didn’t have a lot, if any, photos from my teenage years. Then, I was getting engaged, and for some reason, my fiancée had to talk me into taking a few photos. My wedding was no different. As my husband and I eloped, there wasn’t time for grand photo ops.

The fact that I didn’t have any memories to show hit me hard when I started having kids. I had two sons a few years into my marriage, and they would constantly ask for pictures of myself, my family, and, as they would call it, “my old life.” They never really understood when I told them I didn’t have pictures to show. I felt like I let them down in some ways. I didn’t even take birth pictures of my sons because I felt like I didn’t look good enough during those moments.

Remembering special moments is not about how I looked

What I learned too late was that taking pictures and documenting special moments in my life was never about how good or bad I looked, it was about capturing moments that matter, that we could all look back to and enjoy.

Whenever I look at the few pictures I have, I see a young woman who had her whole life ahead of her. I wish I cared less about people’s opinions of my appearance and realized that aging was a huge privilege and that life is worth recording.

It’s never about how overdressed or underdressed I was. There are bigger and more important reasons to capture moments that matter. It tells the story of your life, where words will fail you.

The most important lesson I’ve learned through life, and as I’m now in my 60s, is that there’s no excuse not to treasure the moment and be present in it. Without photos, the world would be bleak and mundane.

Although I embarrassingly have a limited understanding of technology and how smartphones work, I don’t shy away from taking photos that will help me remember special and unique moments in my life. I especially love taking photos of my grandchildren. Albeit late to the party, at least they’ll look back and see me on some of their favorite occasions.

These days, I don’t pass up an opportunity to get photographed. No matter how old and goofy I look, I’ll share the picture online with my friends, family, and strangers. It’s important for me to capture these moments not only for myself but for everyone who cares about me. I do it as much for myself as I do it for them.

Life is too short not to record the things that are important.