I moved to Finland seeking recovery from my burnout. Even a slow place like this couldn’t cure me.

Marija Riba says she and her husband are coping with their career gap differently.

I spoke with friends who’ve taken a career break to recover from burnout, and they all told me they were able to relax, recover, and successfully reenter the workforce. When I started my break, I expected the same thing.

In July, my husband and I quit our jobs and moved from London to Finland. I thought I’d rest for a month and feel fully recovered, but my burnout is more serious and deeply embedded than I ever imagined. I’m so anxious about the prospect of failure and relying on family for financial support that I haven’t allowed myself to fully rest and stop working.

I burned out at my crypto job

There’s a joke that a couple of months in crypto is like several years in another industry. After burning out from the intensity and fast-paced nature of my crypto job earlier this year, I think that’s true.

I’d been working in Web3 for four years before joining a blockchain art-verification platform as their head of product in June of 2023. I was fascinated by the industry and honestly loved my company and team, but I slowly burned out.

I had to remain on call at odd hours for our American clients and often worked on weekends. It never felt like I could truly “turn off.” I felt undervalued by management and put so much pressure on myself to perform well, and I couldn’t take it anymore.

In May, I suddenly started experiencing extreme shoulder pain that hadn’t bothered me in 10 years, and it hit me: If my health was likely only going to decline, what was I doing in a place where I wasn’t fully happy?

My husband and I both quit our jobs and moved from London to Finland

I floated the idea of taking a solo holiday in Finland, where my mother lives, but when my husband expressed his own dissatisfaction with his current design-management job, we made a joint decision to quit our jobs.

My husband handed in his month’s notice before me because I was so nervous. I’ve always been such a responsible person, so quitting felt like a failure, but I finally bit the bullet and quit.

We finished our final month in July, and the next week we packed our belongings and drove to Finland to move in with my mother and stepfather. We figured it’d be a safe space to reset and recover while also helping them with their declining health.

Moving in with my parents was sometimes emotional

I hadn’t lived with my mother since I was 17, so moving in with them was a bit bizarre. My husband and I cooked, cleaned, and helped out any way we could, but I found myself falling into the parent-child dynamic and reverting to childish self-centeredness.

Sometimes I’d get so caught up in my own emotions dealing with the ramifications of burnout that I’d question why I wasn’t getting more emotional support from my mother, who was struggling with her own issues. It led to some communication issues, but we’ve been able to work through them.

At the same time, it was nice to spend more time with my parents. My husband and I are dipping into savings to take time off, and I’m grateful to say my parents are also helping to support us financially during this transition period.

In October, my husband and I moved into our own flat, for which my parents paid the deposit and the first month’s rent. We don’t know how long we’ll stay, but Finland is the perfect setting to focus on my health.

Our city is very small, and everything is within about a five-minute walk, which is a joy I’ve never experienced before. I’ve been meditating, going to the gym, and finding peace in my alone time.

My husband and I are coping differently

I used to travel every weekend when I lived in London and loved it, so when I envisioned myself taking a career break, it involved traveling the world. Unfortunately, I’m not in a mental space to exert so much energy. In fact, all I want to do is just sit in one place.

Despite my lack of energy, I haven’t been able to truly rest and stop working. I gave myself a week or two to acclimatize to Finland before immediately starting to apply for full-time jobs and creating my own website-optimization business.

It’s been interesting to see how my husband has been handling this period of change. He’s been fixing everything in sight at my parents’ home and, more recently, working on our flat. I think it’s his way of coping. He’s also looking for a job, but I think he’s able to do it less intensely than me.

I realize I’m not bound to any lifestyle

I really don’t know what’s next for my husband and me, but I’m becoming more comfortable trusting my inner voice. This break has taught me more about myself and highlighted the parts of me that I want to work on, such as this discomfort with not having everything under full control.

I think part of the reason I ended up in such a serious place of burnout is because I ignored the warning signs. I felt like I couldn’t leave because I had a job, friends, and a mortgage to pay. It wasn’t until I hit a breaking point that I finally made a change.

It’s still emotional and overwhelming at times, and I’m struggling to come to terms with the fact that recovery takes time. But now that I’m facing my challenges head-on, I feel like I can go anywhere and do anything.