I plan every detail of our family trips. In exchange, my husband watches our kid when we fly — it’s a win for us both.

The secret to our success has been splitting our responsibilities in a way that works for us. 

There were many stressful moments in my first year as a parent — but nothing filled me with more dread than our first time traveling as a family.

My daughter was just a few months old when we took our first flight with her, and I spent the weeks leading up to it filled with stress.

I felt like I was being served countless videos of people complaining or venting about flying with babies and toddlers. Although I’d never been a massive fan of flying pre-parenthood, the idea of dealing with the disdain of other passengers while trying to calm a screaming child made me lose sleep at night.

Fast-forward two years later, and we’ve survived numerous hourslong flights with our daughter using one simple strategy.

We found a way to play to each of our strengths as parents

My husband is the one responsible for childcare while we’re on the plane.

As we approached our first flight together as a family of three, my husband and I were stressed about two completely different things.

I was worried about what we’d do if our baby started freaking out on the plane, but he was more concerned with what we needed to pack for the flight.

That’s when we came up with the plan we’ve sworn by for every trip since.

For each trip, I’m in charge of packing everything for myself and my daughter. I put everything together she’ll need, for both the destination and the flight, taking it off of her dad’s plate completely.

In exchange, once we get on the plane, he’s in charge. If she needs a diaper change, entertainment, food, whatever — he’s going to handle it. And he does a really great job of it, helping her calm down from tantrums or fall asleep on longer late-night flights.

Even with this division of labor, we’re still equal partners — it’s not as if he’d say no to helping me pack or plan something or that I wouldn’t help him during the flight if he asked.

Ultimately, we’ve found what works for us

This clear division of labor has saved us a lot of stress by taking what each of us considers the worst part of traveling off the plate of the other.

Even still, I worry about the judgmental looks I might get for not being the primary caregiver of our kid during a flight. I still feel mom guilt, often wondering if I’m not doing enough.

But as a big-time planner married to someone who is very much not, I get to do what comes most naturally to me and avoid the part that doesn’t.

And once we land, well, we’re back to splitting the chaos of parenting 50/50.