I started my kids’ 529 account at birth with the intention of not touching it until college. I changed my mind.

The author (not pictured) is withdrawing money from her daughter’s college fund to pay for a private middle school.

When my spouse and I learned we were expecting our first child, we met with a financial planner and immediately set aside funds for college.

After her birth, we began contributing to a 529 college savings plan, an investment program that offers tax incentives for planning ahead.

It was tough to set aside $150 every month when I was young and getting started in my career. But I’m glad I made those payments religiously because now I’m using the funds to pay for a top-notch education for seventh grade.

We moved her to a private school

Success in middle school is just as important — if not more important — than college. Studies show that girls are especially prone to plummeting self-esteem in middle school, and a dramatic loss of confidence can persist through adulthood.

My daughter was remote for COVID during part of third grade and all of fourth grade, missing out on major cognitive and social-emotional development opportunities at one of the most vulnerable times of her life as a pre-adolescent.

Removing my daughter from an overcrowded, unsupportive public school was a no-brainer, but I didn’t know how we could afford private school until our financial advisor recommended drawing from but not emptying our 529 account.

I felt guilty for using her 529 at first

I didn’t know the best college savings plans could be used to pay for K-12 education and some vocational training programs. When I first decided to “raid” the account, I felt guilty and as if I was betraying my daughter and the dreams of success I had for her as a tiny, red-faced baby.

My parents believed that brand-name colleges opened the most doors for career success. I was grateful to attend an elite liberal arts college in a beautiful state many hours from home. My spouse studied on the other side of the country from her parents, and although she won a full scholarship, her travel expenses to go home were considerable.

The pandemic gave us perspective on the value of living close to family. The aspiration to send your children far away seems out of touch with the reality of life today, with the climate crisis and other emergencies making travel more iffy.

Getting on a plane isn’t something we can always count on being able to do. The idea of my kids going to college locally and always living nearby is very appealing.

I vowed that I would encourage my kids to move wherever they wanted — but remind them that family is the most important part of life. Going to college closer to home increases the likelihood of building a career and family close to your family of origin. When there’s a crisis, you need your family nearby.

She will switch to public school for high school

So, I’m investing our savings into the present. My daughter’s middle school costs $14,000 a year with financial aid. The first year, sixth grade, we withdrew $10,000, and this year, we took out $5,000. We will have to pay close to the full tuition for her final year to avoid exhausting the 529 completely.

We’ll have only four years of high school — we’re planning on public high school — to save for college. That’s a little nerve-racking, but I know we made the right decision. My daughter is so much happier than she was in public school — everyone who sees her can see that she’s thriving.