I went back to college at 42 to finish my degree. My daughter is my classmate, and it’s only brought us closer.

The author goes to the same college as her daughter, Siri.

I never thought of myself as a college dropout. I started right after high school, and after three misguided semesters, I paused to move out of state and get married. I tried again four years later, taking night classes after work, and quit again to start a family. I knew I would finish when the timing was right.

When the pandemic shut the world down, I decided it was time. At the age of 42, I enrolled in community college, majoring in mass communications, thinking I could at least get a two-year degree. After that, I could decide to keep moving forward or take yet another break.

I went back to school, and my daughter chose the same college

This time around, I was a better student. I graduated with my associate’s degree the same month my daughter Siri graduated from high school, and my son Judah finished 5th grade. I didn’t want to lose my educational momentum, so I applied to transfer to a four-year school closeby and keep moving forward.

Siri had big plans to leave the South for college — or at least to leave the state. But even with generous scholarship offers from the out-of-state schools she had applied to, she couldn’t do that without accruing student debt. Middle Tennessee State University offered her enough scholarship money to cover her tuition, books, and then some. And because it happens to be the four-year state school within a reasonable drive from our house, she would know at least one person there: her mom.

We worried it would be weird

I had my worries, and she did, too. Would it be embarrassing to have me around? Would I be a wet blanket in her college experience? Would people think I followed her there as an extreme helicopter parent? I asked if I should pretend not to see her if we ran into each other.

“No, Mom,” she said. “Be normal.”

Her freshman year — also my junior year — started in fall 2023. With different majors in different departments, we were rarely in the same building. She lived on campus, and I commuted, so we didn’t even park in the same lots. Our only shared space was the library.

Dorm life infected Siri with homesickness, and after 18 years with her by my side, life at home wasn’t the same. We started meeting for weekly lunch or coffee dates and texted each other constantly. After years of saying, “I’m your mom, not your friend,” I admitted that was something I thought I was supposed to say. Of course, in actuality, she’s my best friend.

Going to the same school has only enhanced our experience

Siri studies political science and pre-law. I’m a journalism major and work as an editor for the school newspaper. She joined as a reporter this semester. I tell people she probably figured it couldn’t be too hard if I did it, but really, whenever she said it sounded fun, I tried to rope her in. Now we’re on the same team and share some friends. She’s not too embarrassed to hug me in the newsroom, although she calls me Shauna there instead of Mom.

Siri is nothing like I was the first time I tried college. I had no motivation and no direction. She’s ambitious, with plans to head to law school after graduation. If my mom had shown up on campus during my freshman year, I would have been mortified. Siri has handled the situation with infinite grace.

I feel so lucky to have her as a part of my late-blooming college experience, and I think she feels the same way. She will graduate a year early, in May 2026. I’ll graduate this May, but she keeps asking me to slow down so we can don caps and gowns together. (She thinks the pictures would be cute.) My graduation is the day before Mother’s Day, and if my family wants to take me out to celebrate both days, I won’t say no. I’ve earned it.

Along with my husband and son, Siri is my biggest cheerleader. When I feel like I can’t do it all, she lifts me up. Between choosing to stay at home with my kids instead of working full-time and the coincidence of going to school together, I’ve had the best of both worlds in a way most parents could never imagine.

Next year, Siri will be a senior. Judah will be in 8th grade, and I will (hopefully) be working full-time for a newspaper, magazine, or radio station. When Judah starts college, he won’t have to worry about running into his mom in the library.

Or maybe by then, I’ll be ready for grad school.