I’m in my 70s and don’t babysit my grandchildren. I’ve already done my time raising kids.

Nirmala Sequeira, 71, loves her five grandkids but doesn’t babysit them. 

My partner and I are retired, but we have a busy life. We love going to restaurants and meeting new people at social events. We enjoyed a six-week vacation in my native India a few years ago. At 71 and 76 years, we’re not slowing down.

I was lucky to retire at 59, four years after my first grandchild was born. I now have five, whom I’m very proud of and adore.

But that doesn’t mean I’m available for babysitting. In fact, the two of my three children who have kids wouldn’t even dream of asking me. They respect the fact that I’ve done my time as a caregiver when I raised them as a working mother.

I was committed to my career as a government secretary in Dubai where I lived with my ex-husband. The hours were 7 a.m. to 1 p.m. I’d give my two older children breakfast at 6 a.m. — my third was born in Canada, nine years after my first — and drop them at an in-home day care on my way to work.

After I finished, I’d drive them back, give them a snack, put them down for a nap, play with them, feed them, bathe them before bed.

I’ve done my bit with childrearing

I was in my late 20s and, despite juggling parenhood with a demanding job, didn’t get tired. I had no back-up from my relatives who lived in India and Canada. I built up my energy and managed things myself.

Now that my older children have kids of their own, they do the same thing. My grandchildren are aged between 10 and 16. They’re in school and attend after-school programs and summer camps. When they were younger, they were at day care.

My daughter, 44, and son, 42, live a 30-minute drive from my house. We visit each other, but it wouldn’t occur to them to have me help out. They know I’ve done my bit and have my own life to lead.

They’re fortunate to be high earners and I’ve brought them up to pay for childcare when they need it. I’ve told them that’s what a salary is for. In turn, you’re providing an income to someone else. They need to put food on their table, too.

The only time I’ve looked after my daughter’s children, I actually got paid for it. Several years ago, she won a top employee award at the bank where she works. The prize was a week-long cruise. The bank gave her $600 to cover childcare, which she paid me.

People should make the most of their later years

I enjoyed picking up my grandson and granddaughter from school, making their meals and spending the evening with them. But there’s no way I’d do it regularly.

Like me, my children believe that kids who attend daycare and camps often turn out better than those brought up by grandparents. They’re watched and taught by professionals, in an environment with other kids.

I don’t feel any guilt or obligation. I feel bad for grandparents who do. Maybe they think that, if they don’t provide childcare, it will cause resentment.

Still, it’s important to make the most of your later years. Over the last several years, my youngest daughter, a 33-year-old teacher and I have traveled to places like Iceland, Mexico, and the Dominican Republic. In 2018, we went backpacking across Europe for six weeks.

I have a great future ahead with my partner. We’re having fun and embracing our freedom.