Instead of retiring, my wife and I bought a bed and breakfast. It gave us a new sense of purpose.

The author and his wife worried that retiring would leave them without purpose.

For at least six years, my wife and I debated about retiring.

I worked as an independent management consultant while she was in upper-level management at a nonprofit organization, and we were concerned about losing our sense of purpose when retiring.

Instead of stepping away completely from our work lives, we changed careers by diving into a new adventure and purchased a small bed and breakfast in Virginia. This decision allowed us to stay active in our own business and get involved in the local community.

We had to learn a lot of new things

It wasn’t an easy transition. For example, learning to navigate the various aspects of social media proved challenging. After a few months of listing the Inn on TripAdvisor, they called me asking what I thought about their service. I replied that it was working well, and then they told me I was getting “dinged.” I was puzzled, so the caller explained that we have to respond when a guest reviews their stay — I had no idea.

Another challenge for my wife was the wide variety of dietary requirements. Although she was able to meet those demands superbly, I struggled with some of the terminology. Responding to the question of dietary restrictions, a guest replied, “By the way, I’m pescatarian,” and I responded that I was Methodist.

I get to learn about other people’s retirement

We’ve had the good fortune to host several thousand guests, and I get to talk to many who are either retired or contemplating retirement.

I have found it fascinating to hear the many ways retirees rediscover themselves during this transition, finding their passion and meaning through pursuits like beekeeping, welding, felting, and sustainable gardening, for example.

Their stories and experiences have given me newfound insights into what “retirement” means. In the mid-20th century, it meant working to a certain age and then stopping working. However, with most of us living longer today and staying healthier, many don’t want to stop entirely. We want to continue to contribute, make a difference, and have a reason to get up every day.

I often get to talk to guests who have retired, and I’ve observed that “retirees” tend to fall into two distinct groups — those well-prepared financially and those not so well-prepared.

The former group consisted primarily of folks who had jobs with pensions or ran their own successful businesses and sold them to retire. Among this group, we frequently hear the desire to live near extended family members or their adult children in order to be able to assist with raising their grandchildren.

The latter group consists of folks who were responsible for saving for retirement on their own — whether through company-matched programs or individual savings plans. Most have generated some savings, but not enough to continue living the same lifestyle as when fully employed. For this group, retirement means continuing to work in some capacity, but not necessarily in the same career field. My wife and I find ourselves in this group.

Our business keeps us active

For my wife and I, owning a bed and breakfast offered us the best of both worlds — we could still support our lifestyle without working full time and participate in our community as business owners and individuals.

As business owners, we’re active in both social and charitable events, and as individuals, we’re active as volunteers and part of a church community. In this way, our sense of purpose was fulfilled, allowing us to ease into our retirement years. Actually, “ease” may not be the right word, as adapting to unforeseen circumstances like the pandemic forced us to rethink my purpose. After several months of closure in 2020 I took a seasonal job at the local zoo, learning a whole new skill set.

As much as we’ve enjoyed hosting guests from all over the US, Europe, Canada and Australia, we’re now in the final stages of prepping the Inn for sale, excited to discover what lies ahead. We’ll slow down while remaining active in whatever community we reside in.