My daughter hates her name because it’s traditionally used for boys. I hope one day she learns to love how different it is.

The author (not pictured) named her daughter Kyle and hopes she grows to love her name someday. 

Before I gave birth to my third child, we didn’t want to know the sex of the baby. It was the first time we’d waited. Not knowing was like a cool secret that we could savor and hold until we met our latest addition. Of course, it also meant picking two names. We liked Kyle for a girl and Brooks for a boy.

“Kyle is a boy’s name,” my family said when I brought it up.

I disagreed.

“Kyle is just a name — a really cool name. It is also the name we are choosing,” I countered.

People make assumptions about why we chose the name

I had the same fight about my second child, a girl we named Cameran. Of course, most people referred to her as Cami while she was growing up. That’s why no one had much to say about her name. She had a feminine nickname, which seemed to satisfy everyone. I never worried either way or questioned for a second the choices I made when it came to naming my kids. When I met them, I knew we had made the right decision.
“Did you name her for Kyle Richards?” people would ask. They somehow thought naming her after a reality star made her name more valid or meaningful. I always responded with a sigh as I shook my head.

“Oh, I’ve never heard it used for a girl except for her,” they’d say. This was always followed with, “Normally, it’s a boy’s name.”

This always confused me. Kyle Richards certainly wasn’t the only famous female woman with the name. In the 1940s, there was a television actor named Kyle MacDonnell. Her first name was Ruth, but she went by Kyle professionally. I didn’t name my daughter after her either, though.

I’ve always loved similar names for girls

I suppose I’d always been drawn to traditionally masculine names for girls. James and Ryan were among my favorites. My husband, Craig, had a nephew named Ryan, which knocked that name off our list.

“Everyone will think she’s a boy,” my grandmother warned. I’m sure she was hoping to deter me. Talking me out of things fell to her because not only did I value her opinion, but she was a little bit scary, even when I became an adult. I wouldn’t budge, though. Neither would Craig. The only other name we’d toyed with for a girl was Cullen. My family didn’t like that one either. “Well, that name is just weird,” my grandmother said.

Of course, my grandmother wasn’t wrong about people assuming my daughter was a boy, which somehow made it even more annoying when it happened. Fast-forward a few years to doctor’s appointments and classroom attendance. “We wanted to confirm your appointment for Kylie,” they would say in the reminder call we always received before annual well-checks.

“I don’t correct them,” Kyle would tell me after someone inevitably called her by a name they perhaps thought better fit a young lady. The idea of my daughter going by a different name bothered me, but not as much as her own hatred for the name did. “I wish Kylie were my name. At least it’s not a boy’s name.”

I hope one day my daughter loves her name as much as I do

While a part of me understands why my daughter takes issue with her name, I hope one day she learns to appreciate how different it is. According to The Bump, Kyle was ranked 4,600 as a girl name in 2023.

She’s also the only female Kyle in her school, though for her, this is part of the problem. She prefers her friend’s names. Niamh (pronounced Neve) and Calia, her two closest friends, have unique names.

“They are also feminine, and no one mistakes them for boys,” my daughter has told me on more than one occasion.

I guess I dream of someday, in the near future, when Kyle can appreciate how much we loved the name and still do. Maybe one day, when she names her own child, she’ll get it. While that’s years away, I’ll just have to wait and see while I continue to correct people when they assume she’s a boy simply because of her name.