My husband and I swapped roles when we moved from the UK to France. I feel like I’ve done him the biggest favor ever.

Karen Kissane is a business coach living just outside of Cognac, France.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Karen Kissane, a 49-year-old business coach in France. The following has been edited for length and clarity.

I have a bioscience degree and had a fantastic corporate career in the UK. I loved working as a product specialist and sales trainer for a life sciences company.

After having my son in 2010, I returned to work to find that all my responsibilities had temporarily been given to someone else while I was on leave but wouldn’t be reinstated.

It was a distressing time, and I got a lawyer involved, but I ended up leaving. I felt disillusioned at the idea of working for someone else again, so I decided to start my own business. Had this not happened, my family wouldn’t be in France now. It’s a great example of when your worst day turns out to be your best day.

In 2016, I attended a two-day coaching seminar with The Coaching Academy

It blew my mind. I signed up on the spot for a full coaching diploma, which cost a few thousand pounds and took 42 hours of classroom time. I got great grades and went on to train trainee coaches for the company for about three years.

Self-awareness, the ability to recognize my self-limiting thoughts, and the ability to coach myself through situations that I otherwise wouldn’t have been able to are skills I now have that can be used in all parts of my life.

My new career was taking off at a time when my husband was stressed at his job

He was a partner in an automotive industry business and had gone from loving what he was doing to being miserable.

After being the family breadwinner for many years, this happened just as my income was eclipsing his. We decided that he would quit his job of 15 years in 2020.

About five years before he quit his job, we’d bought a small holiday home in France

We spent six weeks of summer holiday there when the children were small and a few shorter trips during other school holidays.

We’d fallen in love with France and decided to move full-time in the summer of 2019.

Our house in Northamptonshire sold for £1,275,000, and we bought a new chateau in southwest France, just outside Cognac, for 1,190,000 euros. We put a few hundred thousand euros into renovating the property. It’s beautiful and only an hour from the Atlantic coast.

The chateau.

When we moved in 2020, our daughter was 8, and our son was 10

They’re both now fluent in French. My husband is fluent, too. My French is not as good, as I spend most of my time working with clients in English.

I’m in awe of my kids because they left all their friends and the only life they’d ever known. They never complained or cried, and I think the experience shaped them for life.

My daughter is very outgoing, so I was never worried about her, but my son is more reserved. I remember leaving him on the playground one day after dropping him off at school and seeing him standing alone, and my heart broke.

Now, they’re both doing well and have lots of friends.

The hardest part about moving was the French culture of bureaucracy

In filling out our mortgage application, we needed to print out and return the signed papers. In the UK, you do this online, but in France, we had to print 56 pages in triplicate and mail them.

I miss my family, friends, and cultural things like the British Sunday lunch, a weekly staple growing up. I also miss speaking English — it sounds obvious, but everything is harder in a language that you’re learning.

I feel like I’ve done my husband the biggest favor ever

Our roles swapped when we moved to France. He takes care of the school runs, house duties, and admin of the house and businesses while I focus on building the businesses.

It’s great we could make this swap, effectively taking turns, as I did this before when he was a partner in a business working long hours. He’s much happier.

I’ve given him time with his children that he wouldn’t have had otherwise. My children are so close to their dad now, and it’s because of this time.

Moving to France helped my coaching business take off

I didn’t need a special business visa for France because we moved before Brexit.

We went from having my husband’s comfortable salary to it all being on my shoulders. There was no plan B, so I had to put everything into it.

One of the first things I did was start building a Facebook group, which delivered a lot of clients and revenue. I ran ads for the first few months, and after that it was all organic.

Last year, I made $960,000 in revenue

I now have a couple of connected businesses. My coaching business takes up most of my time.

I offer different ways for clients to work with me, including online courses and 1:1 coaching. The rates range from a few hundred euros to five figures or more.

In April last year, I founded a SaaS platform called coachspace.ai. In my coaching business, I help my clients with strategies, tools, and mentorship, while Coach Space gives them the tech to implement those strategies. It also helps them build funnels and generate leads.

I’ve started running retreats for my clients at our chateau. Most clients pay £2,500 for a Monday to Friday retreat with a private chef, biohacking ice baths and meditation, business strategy, and accommodation at the chateau in our converted cognac barns.

A retreat at the chateau.

French culture is rubbing off on me

Here, people are very focused on family, traditions, and especially lunch — it’s an important part of the day, which has helped me prioritize living well. In the UK, skipping lunch and working through it was normal.

There’s a slower pace of life — part of the appeal and a big part of my business ethos — and less is more. I like that we’ve escaped the hustle culture of the UK, where everything is much harder and faster.