We move states every couple of months for my wife’s work. We feel at home regardless of where we go.
The author and her wife move homes every 13 weeks.
Three months ago, my wife and I stared into the living room of a new house in a new state. It was day one of living in the Pacific Northwest. In a couple of months, we’ll repeat this process in another part of the country, just like we have three times over the last two years, and will continue to do so for the foreseeable future.
In 2022, my wife and I decided to uproot our lives in Kansas City and move around the country for her job as a travel physical therapist. Her contracts are 13 weeks, and while she sometimes has the option to extend them, we never stay more than a handful of months.
Since we started, we’ve lived in Sonoma, California; Farmington, New Mexico; and now, Tacoma, Washington.
We loved our home
Before traveling, we always found a lot of comfort and joy in our home. We decorated it to match our personalities with art made by friends, pieces found at thrift shops, and all-white linens. Not to mention, Kansas City was where I grew up. Our family and friends were there, we knew exactly where to get a good meal, had running routes mapped out, and memorized the fastest way from point A to point B. Kansas City was safe because it was home.
That feeling of home was something I thought we’d lost when we first started traveling. While the bungalow in Sonoma was cozy and nice enough, it felt like we were living someone else’s life, surrounded by furnishings that weren’t our own. However, little by little, I started looking forward to walking in the front door. Sonoma started to feel like home. Admittedly, we had more time to adjust to Sonoma, as my wife extended her contract twice, but just as quickly as we got there, it was time to go again.
We’ve experienced culture shocks
We went home to Kansas City for a couple of months where we were on a high from being newly engaged and spending the holidays with family and friends. Then, it was off to Farmington, which was a bit of a culture shock. Farmington was more rural than we were used to; our new apartment felt like a hotel, and it was hard to find a restaurant or coffee shop that wasn’t a chain. I was worried I wouldn’t settle in before it was time to leave again, but to my surprise, this is actually where I learned the most about what home really meant.
While Farmington itself never really felt like home in the way Sonoma or Kansas City did, I still felt the same peace there as I did in the other places. Over time, home changed from a physical location to a feeling. Where we used to find home in a building and its furnishings, we began to find it in each other and our dogs, in the routines we kept and the relationships we maintained despite the distance.
Our mindset had to change because we no longer have the same control over our environment as we once did. It was a really comforting realization that home could be anywhere, and by the time we got to Tacoma, we were seasoned pros.
I want to caveat that it’s not unusual to find comfort in physical places or items. There are certainly still things that we have to have with us on every move, but there is a sense of freedom we’ve found in home being more than a place or the things that fill it.
It’s opened up possibilities we would’ve never considered before, and adventures previously beyond our comfort zone feel within reach. I can’t say where we’ll be next, but it doesn’t scare me like it used to. That freedom is something I could never have found without our traveling lifestyle, and I am not sure I will ever want to give it up.
While it will always be slightly jarring walking into a new house in a new state, it has become even harder to leave after the contract is up. With each new place, our sense of belonging expands.
We may move every three months, but I’ve never felt more at home.
