I was a teen dad on food stamps. Now that I’m a multimillionaire, teaching my kids to appreciate money is really difficult.

John Wetmore’s first child was born when he was a senior in high school. 

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with John Wetmore, the founder of Family First Life Agent Force. It has been edited for length and clarity.

I was 16 and pregnant before the show existed. I wasn’t the pregnant one, but that was my life. My high-school girlfriend and I were both born to teen moms, and our baby was born at the beginning of my senior year.

I worked at Little Caesars and managed to graduate. I lived in government housing and didn’t think twice about it. I’d been raised to shop with food stamps and never realized that wasn’t the norm.

My girlfriend and I got married and had three more kids by the time I was 30. I worked warehouse jobs while going to college at night. I didn’t want to be bouncing checks and living paycheck to paycheck, but I didn’t know a way out.

Now I’m a millionaire, and I have to take money into consideration when parenting my kids.

I started making money but had to file for bankruptcy

I got a college degree working at night, but working as an accountant didn’t give me the financial stability I’d dreamed about. My uncle sold mortgages, and in 2006, he got me into that industry. I was blown away that I could make $2,000 selling a mortgage. My annual salary was only $28,000, so I quit my job to focus on sales.

I felt rich. I had a nice car and a nice home. But when the market crashed in 2008, it all fell apart. My car was repossessed, and I had two foreclosures. I filed for bankruptcy.

That’s when I learned an important lesson: If you have a loan, you don’t own anything. These days, I pay cash for everything.

My kids have had very different experiences growing up

I went back to work as an accountant but eventually got into the insurance industry. Around 2015, I made $100,000 for the first time. It felt like a huge goal, but I realized it wasn’t as much money as I’d thought.

My colleagues were making $500,000 a year or more, and I set my sights on that. By 2017, I was making $1 million a year, and since about 2019, I’ve had $1 million in the bank. Now, my net worth is in the eight figures.

The change from food stamps to multimillionaire has affected my kids a lot. My oldest two are 30 and 25, and they only remember broke dad. The middle two are 17 and 18, and they’ve lived both ways — scraping to get by and having plenty of money. My youngest is 13, and he’s only ever known affluence.

I buy my kids cars but save the flashy vehicles for me

I want all my kids to earn the things they have. My oldest went to Ohio State University on a full scholarship because there was no way I could afford her college back then. I talk to them all the time about owning or selling something — that’s the real way to build wealth.

Now that I have more money, I pay for a car, a place to live, and college if my kids want to go. My two teenagers both drive Chevy Trailblazers, which are reliable cars. I drive much flashier cars: I own a custom GMC pickup, a Cadillac, a Mercedes, and a Bentley. I won’t buy luxury cars for my kids because they haven’t earned them.

My youngest has grown up rich, and that’s challenging

Teaching my youngest son the value of money is a challenge. I make a point to say no to him, even though I could afford to say yes. Recently, he asked me to take him to the World Series. He priced out the trip and told me it was “just $22,000.” I told him that I love him, but there’s no way I’m spending $22,000 on a baseball game.

Another time, he told me he wanted a golf cart to check the mail. Admittedly, we have a long driveway, but there’s no way I’m buying him a golf cart. I’m stubborn, and he’s walking up and down the driveway.

I love that he lives without having to worry about money, but I hate that he doesn’t understand the value of it. This can be frustrating because I don’t know how to teach it — this position is new to me, too.

I want my kids to know the value of hard work. I’ve set up my will so that if I died tomorrow, they’d each get a bit of money over their lifetimes, but they’d still need to work. I want them to do the hard jobs I did and maybe even experience being broke. It feels really good to earn something. I don’t think it would feel quite as good if someone just handed it to you.