Dear Abby: My friend was upset by this playdate incident involving his son. Was I wrong?

I was hurt that he made a big deal about it, so I snubbed him

ADDRESSED TO ABBY: “Jake,” the father of one of my grandson’s friends, and I have known each other for many years.

When his son came over to play with my grandson, an incident occurred. They are both 11 years old. I had previously planned to leave the boys with my son and his wife, my grandson’s uncle and aunt.

Jake became enraged and told me it was unconscionable that I had left his son with my family. I told Jake’s ex-wife, with whom I have a close relationship, that I was going to leave her son with my son. She assured me that everything was fine.

Jake and I were at an event together the other day. I had to leave before I could speak with him. The next day, he texted me, “Let’s get past this so we can be cordial.” I was offended that he made such a big deal about it.

Was I mistaken?


DR. HURT: I’m not sure why Jake thought your presence was required when he dropped off his son. He clearly realizes he overreacted and is now attempting to make amends.

I believe you should accept the olive branch and move on because the boys are close. Extending this unfortunate incident further serves no purpose.

ADDRESSED TO ABBY: I applied for a supervisor position at the company where I work. Unfortunately, I was not hired. Instead, the job was given to one of my coworkers who held the same position as I did (though with significantly fewer years of experience at the company).

I initially tried to dismiss it and go about my business as usual. Unfortunately, I am no longer able to do so.

Because this coworker is now my boss, I occasionally receive dictation/instruction from them, which makes me uneasy. I’ll admit that I’ve started to feel envious.

I’ve been here for ten years, and the fact that I haven’t been able to advance has been a source of frustration. I am unable to resign due to financial constraints. I have to figure out how to make this new reality work.

How do I get rid of these jealous feelings and learn to work with my new boss?


DEAR STUCK: One way to do this is to remind yourself why you’re there on a regular basis. Bottom line: You require the funds.

Life isn’t always fair, so try to be more accepting of it. While you’re at it, take a look around to see if any other companies are posting job openings. If you find any, schedule an interview and, if hired, give your notice.

ADDRESSED TO ABBY: My two sons do not get along.

One is relocating from another country to the city where I live. My son, who now lives in my city, is enraged. He claims he will no longer see me because he knows his brother will be staying with me for a short time.

This breaks my heart, especially because it involves the children of my sons. Therapy did not appear to be effective. Any suggestions?


DEAR BROKEN UP: In fact, I have one: do not allow your son to emotionally blackmail you. Tell him that you, not he, will decide who lives under your roof, and that if he follows through on his threat, it will be his children who suffer, not you or his brother.

Then put your foot down and keep it there.

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